A Commander's Motivations

Over the course of these chapters is the first time we, as the readers, are introduced to the Commander. It seems fairly innocuous (to us, at least) at first as all he really wants is to play scrabble and provide a couple of  “luxuries” for Offred. The kiss he asks for at the end of their meetings certainly seems exploitative to the reader, but all in all, it's just another request for some actual intimacy. Does this mean that the question that Offred asks in a previous chapter about who it’s worse for, her or Serena Joy, actually also extend to the Commander?

I’d bargain it does not. I think that as the book is portraying the Commander’s sympathy for Offred, and entreating the reader to sympathize with the Commander, the Commander is actually a far more insidious character. He is ultimately using techniques (like his coyness that even Offred recognizes as fake) to pull the reader and Offred onto his side. He acts like he has no power, even failing to realize the injustices going on in his own house, while still being in direct control of his “family” and even having a high-ranking position in his community. He, and the society that he represents, pit women against each other while staying out of the public eye altogether. I, frankly, don’t buy his “coyness” for a minute.